Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Confessions Of My Diseased Heart!

Today I overheard a phone conversation between a boy and his lover.  They were speaking about a shirt of him.  She was actually at Delhi while he was in Chennai, they were about thousand miles away and both had seen them six months before, but still remembers everything about him... She rightly points out the colour of the shirt.  He says that it wasnt the shirt he was speaking and dugs out another shirt that was in her memory. Wasnt it so cute?? How much they love each other. She remembers everything about him and he trusts every words of her.  They share with them a parental and children love with each other.  Love between them made me to worry that why I wasnt destined to be like them.  Why I was cursed to live and wither just like a lonely rose without anyone to care about it.  May be it was God's mistake that he hadnt given me the girl I loved so much or a girl I would love so much.   May be it was my mistake that though I was averagely looking I wanted to loved and to be loved by a gorgeous girl.  There are many girls out there who just wants someone to love and to be loved but I dont want to chose them because I want to be loved by a gorgeous girl.  I know I am commiting a bigger mistake here but I cant stand saying to my mind that I should not be like this.  All I want is to love and marry a beautiful girl though she would love me or not, but I really want to because marrying a beautiful girl was like a defect in my heart if it wasnt cured then I doubt I may not love my wife at all.  I dont want this to happen so I just want to marry a beautiful girl and no matter of other thins whether she is rich or not, mute or dumb doesnt matter.  Many things have its roots in it, I loved my gorgeous fair doll Nitthu, and only way to stop loving her and love another is to marry another gorgeous white doll like her, else no other go... Thats the truth of my heart!!